In the Words of “G-Ma”

by Krystal D. Smith

I always wondered what the South was like when my grandmother was little. Was life on a farm more enjoyable than living in the city? Was family as important as it is today? Or was everything the same but only a little different? I found all that out when I sat down with my grandmother who was given the name Betty Rita, but I call her grandma or “G-Ma.” She was born in a town of Raeford in North Carolina. One of the few women in my family whom I look up to, she has southern tendencies just like every other southerner, but by growing up in the South, she has faced a lot of hardships that have molded her into the person she is today.

She was conceived in New York but born in North Carolina. She explained that her biological mother was a singer at a night club in New York, and one day she decided to move to North Carolina when she became pregnant to be closer to her family. She wasn’t used to the slow pace of the South; unfortunately, there weren’t that many jobs like in New York; she was stressed all the time about money, so she didn’t have time to take care of my grandmother like she wanted to. Later, my “G-Ma” was adopted when she was six years old by a lady down the street. “Back then you didn’t have to sign papers just to adopt children; you just simply gave them to someone else,” she stated. By being given away to Mrs. Frances whom she would soon call Mama, she learned things that she wouldn’t have learned from her real mother. For example, she learned how to catch food, make remedies, and ride horses. She started picking cotton and tobacco at a young age. She showed me the scars on her leg from the cuts she got while in the field. “If I had to choose between living in New York or here, I would choose here. I learned about survival. That’s the difference between then and now. You kids now run; we couldn’t run away when rough times came. We had to sit there and get through it.”

Education was important when my grandmother was young, but it also depended on the circumstance. For example, if students didn’t have enough money to buy books, then they most likely dropped out of school. “I thought I was hurting them by not going to school, but I ended up hurting myself.” Because she didn’t have the education to get a high-paying job, she moved to Long Island, New York, when she was in her early thirties. There she worked as a “housekeeper for a rich white lady for two years,” she said. This was the right time to ask her the difference between the North and South. “New York life was too fast. You had to keep up with everyone; there was way more crime there than here, and everyone wasn’t as friendly as the people back home.” Because she didn’t like the job, she moved back to the South and began working at the Burlington Mill. She worked there for twenty years while being a single mother and juggling the responsibility of raising two children.

My grandma had two twin brothers born a little after she turned nine. She was happy that she wasn’t the only child anymore. It made her proud that she was a big sister to them. “In my time, family was really important. We all stuck together and we were always there for each other.” For instance, when she got into fights at school, her brothers were always there for her. Even her cousins were there; no one could ever mess with just one person of the family without everyone getting involved. She explained that some didn’t even have to be a part of the family; everyone who lived in their area was like family to them. “Nowadays families and neighbors are against each other. They don’t want to be around each other. It makes me sad to see families break apart over the littlest things.” I really understood what she meant. Now people have to fend for themselves; they can’t really depend on their family to help them when they’re in need.

By asking my grandmother these questions, I have learned a lot about her and my culture. Sometimes people have to take risks in order to make things happen. School is still important. Back then people didn’t struggle as much as they do now; anyone during that time could easily get a job, but now they have to have an education to get a good-paying job. I took into consideration about what my grandmother said about families not being close like they used to, and it breaks my heart to know that it is true. “People need to come together and help each other, and they need to stop being against each other.”

Work Cited

Purcell, Betty Rita. Personal interview. 29 Aug. 2010.


Note: Krystal D. Smith, who lives in Raeford, is pursuing an associate’s degree in nursing at Sandhills Community College.