Times Ain’t What They Used to Be

by Donna Stephens-Johnson

Well, of course it was the election of our first African American President Barack Obama!!” exclaimed Mrs. Dorothy Milam, when asked the most memorable and historic moment of her life time. Born December 3, 1927 in Macon, North Carolina and having recently celebrated her 83rd birthday, Mrs. Milam was happy to talk to me about her southern roots and delighted in the thought of being interviewed for my class assignment. My interviewee had lots to talk about in our conversation which lasted over an hour.

Mrs. Milam is the mother of a very close friend of mine, who I’ve known for over 13 years. She said, “Growing up in the South was hard work, and what I remember most is the field work.” The Great Depression was a very bad time she recalls, and she remembers the destitute families from cotton mill towns carrying their personal belongings in tattered suitcases and boxes coming around begging for food and shelter. “You was always willing to feed folks if you had it to spare,” Mrs. Milam said as a matter of fact. “It was what you did back then.” She was raised learning to plant, harvest, can, preserve, and store food to eat through the winter. The work consumed most of her time when she was a little girl. According to her, folks don’t appreciate the process of preparing food like they used to. Mrs. Milam believes a lot of the illnesses people suffer with today is because of their poor diet and eating habits.

“Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,” she replied when asked her favorite subject of the Civil Rights Movement. She remembered the names of the Greensboro Four, the black civil rights activists at North Carolina A&T State University. Franklin McCain, Joseph McNeil, Ezell Blair Jr., and David Richmond took seats at the segregated lunch counter of F.W.Woolworth’s in Greensboro, N.C. on February 1, 1960. They were refused service and sat peacefully until the store closed. They returned the next day with more students until finally in July Woolworth’s integrated all of its stores. “These actions helped to get the Civil Rights Bill passed,” Mrs. Milam said proudly.

She worked alongside her mother and grandmother in the fields. As a child most all the foods eaten were grown from gardens, either their own or from someone else’s farm they worked on. In the summer time they would plant butter beans, potatoes, collards, corn, watermelons, tomatoes, okra and peas. “Back then you would throw them [peas] up in the air from one pan to another to blow the trash out. Some of them pickers was so good, they wouldn’t let nary pea hit the ground.” She said you were expected to pull your weight and got a lickin’ when you didn’t. Mrs. Milam’s favorite chore was picking peaches, apples, blackberries and pecans because you could eat as you picked. She chuckled after making this statement. Staples on the dinner table back then were peas, beans, cornbread, biscuits, and molasses. The molasses was made from ground sugar cane, which made the juice for making the molasses. If you had a cow to milk [like they did], you’d strain the milk until it was firm to make buttermilk or churn it up and down with a wooden churn until it became butter. They had no refrigerator, so the milk was put in jars and then taken to the spring to keep cool. Few people had ice boxes back then. Children would be a lot better off if they ate like they did back then, if they were taught how to work together and help one another. The family used to sit around the dinner table and share conversations with one another.

When she wasn’t in the field working, she was going to the mournin’ bank to pray on Sunday while sitting on the mournin’ bench. They would have revivals in the afternoon on into the night, an all-day affair. She got her religion when she turned twelve years old. It was a first Sunday in August down at the creek, when Reverend Samuel Clanton baptized her. Mrs. Milam loves to sing and praise the Lord. She loved attending the revivals because they lasted all day long. She attributes most of the problems with the youth today with not having enough of the Lord in their life and parents not taking the time to discipline them about the importance of hard work.

Traditionally her mother and grandmother did the day work of chopping cotton with a hoe. All day long you would chop for a meal or lunch. The adults were paid 75 cents per day. The "younguns" were paid 50 cents per day. Folks took that money and bought food to plant for the winter. ‘Baca seeds came up in spring. As she got older, her responsibility was to help break the top off each leaf one by one, so it would mature. Harvesting ‘baca was not one of her favorite things to do because she had to work fast and keep up. She said when you didn’t, you got a "lickin'." Any adult could hit you back then for not doing what you was "‘sposed to."

I asked Mrs. Milam what she missed most about those days growing up. Without hesitation she said, “The children are different today. They didn’t steal and kill like they do now days. Back then you could go home leaving the door open and nobody would bother you.” Mrs. Milam paused for a second and then said, “A young person talking disrespectful to elders was never even considered back then. As a child, when you saw an elderly person, you immediately acknowledged that person by speaking first, but not anymore. Today, young people don’t speak to people. It’s sad.” Mrs. Milam was an only child who missed not having any brothers and sisters growing up. She loved her grandmother dearly and misses her to this day. Her favorite foods are butter beans, corn and cornbread. “Nobody could make cornbread like my grandmomma!” she said.

Her final comments were on how she thinks our children are lost to life, hard work and faith in God. Back then you could get around and not worry about being hurt by them (youth), but it’s different today. As a little girl she could walk through the woods and only have to worry about the snakes. On that point I had to agree. Times surely ain’t what they used to be. “Things have changed during my lifetime in ways I never thought possible, though not all of it bad. I never thought I’d live to see the day when we would have an African American president either, Lord knows not in my lifetime.”

Work Cited

Milam, Dorothy. Personal interview. 30 Jan. 2011.


Note: Donna Stephens-Johnson, who lives in Carthage, is majoring in message therapy at Sandhills Community College.